Why i like tease and denial

First, let me say i'm fine. It was quite a long time, since my last post and that time was full of events, but mostly not online. Main direction concerning BDSM is my further moving into setting it up in real life. I have not been online for quite a long and pipped inside SL just to see, if it's still going :)
I've got a RL partner, whom i'd like to control me. It's not that easy to achieve it with a vanilla partner, but i do my best to develop Dom side in my significant other. But let's come back to tease and denial.

Last month or so, i decided to try strict tease and denial in RL. I granted the right to permit my orgasms to my SO and stop from cumming when no one's looking (yes, that's my sin!). The result is really worth doing. And i do like it. The main change is surely in growing libido. The more i denied, the less i need to become aroused. Being teased and denied for a long period of time makes me ready for sexual activity nearly all the time. And what's more, i'm ready to try more and more different things.
For me, the main magic of a denial is in a moment, when you've been close to orgasm, but everything stopped and you are calming down. My sly mind start playing in a game, when i'm ready to do anything, just to have another chance to come to the edge and maybe orgasm. This is the moment, when i can be suggested to try some things, that i would never do previously. Hope some day someone will use this feature of mine for their pleasure.

Another wonderful thing in denial is the exhaustion after a long session, when edged a lot of time, denied all the time, tortured, humiliated (if you were lucky) and finally moved yourself into a state when you are full of hormones and other blood chemistry, like you've had an orgasm, but without actual orgasm. In this state you are laying flat, unable to move, moaning and shaking a bit with a white noise in you head. Extremely wonderful emotions.

On the other hand, when i permitted orgasm, it is good most of the times, but after it i feel some emptiness and some kind of loss and a bit emotionally depressed. And that's another argument for denial for me.

As there are some followers and readers, i'd like to ask do you like T&D and if so, what do you like in it and why? I'll be glad if you share with us.

At the wall...

At first, I must confess and thanks Miss Eve. Her SL training and degradation has some effect in RL on me. Yes, after all those words she told me about me, my nature and my place in SL, somehow my RL perception changed a bit (a bit?). From time to time I feel a need of some RL action and they become more and more wild every time.

I can remember the first anal experiments several years ago. Now it seems I really need something inside my rare. There are many more examples, but today I want to tell about some public actions. I'm not an exhibitioner, so I don't want someone to see me.However a thought about sexual activity in a public place makes me very excited.

I swim regularly. And sometimes locker room and a room with shower cubicles are absolutely empty (but there always a chance for someone to come inside). However there's a WC with a lock on the way from showers to the locker room. That gave me an idea of some semi-public activity I can afford myself.
One day I felt horny and decided to go to the WC room, and has an edge (I'm not permitted orgasms in RL) there. It was wonderfully disgusting and so humiliating: standing there before the toilet bowl and understand that everything you want is to scream and shake in a powerful orgasm and you has no permission for it. I must confess -- I liked that feeling *blushes* *blushes* *blushes*.

Some time later I repeated it once again... then one time more, standing on my knees in the WC room, feeling all  the smells of the room, hearing some people washing and going behind the door, imagine myself abused and forced to do it, feeling myself dirty, small and useless (I hate self mindfucking, but sometime it can give a lot of additional emotions).

Today I was at the pool, as usual. I had no mood for swimming, so it was not like a sport training, but just a peaceful flowing from one side of the pool to another.

I had to stop, put on clothes and move on.

After time was over, I went to the locker room. There was no one there. I felt a warmth of incipient arousal inside me. I was in the locker room and I decided to edge right there. I start pinching my nipples and very soon my breath became hard and quick. I was rubbing myself, trying to be quiet. At some point I made a step back and pushed my bottom to the cold tile wall. To make it even more sensitive, i leaned forward to touch the wall only by my ass. That gave another wave of arousal. I imagine someone's cold body touching my bottom, penetrate me, making me full of lust and desire, without any emotions in himself. I felt myself so disgraced. I looked at myself from the side: heavy breathing, leaned forward, legs spread, ass pushing to the wall, hands rubbing the most sensitive spots with a strong desire for an orgasm inside, ready to fuck anything, including a cold wall to fulfill the need for release. At this moment I had to stop touching myself to prevent orgasm. A quite moan of disappointment came out of my throat, as i understood that there are no touches for me left and I have to put on clothes and move on....

PS. I see a trend of my feelings at the pool locker room and I'm afraid how far will it get.

PPS. Picture source is another blog.

A new pet

Today Miss Eve has got a new pet... but let this whore tell everything in order.

The day before Miss Eve had put this whore on a massage device, that sucked and massaged her breast (what a wonderful feeling it was). And even added one more vibrator to this whore cunt. Unfortunately that lasts not so long.
Unfortunately, whore had to leave that day, but on the next day Miss Eve continued playing with her whore.

She put her on a device with 2 vibrators and run them both. To train whore keep silent, Miss put a banana gag into the whore's mouth and set it up to shock whore's tong every time she's trying to say something out loud. At first it was not difficult, but as whore was coming closer and close to the edge of orgasm, keeping muted was getting harder and harder.

 (whore ridding 2 vibrators at the same time)

Finally whore had got shocked from the belt and gag in one time. That made whore cry more, and another shock to her mouth made whore strive hard and shut up. Then absolutely unexpected, Miss took whore's chastity off and let whore have an full-blown orgasm, that made this whore scream one more time and get several shocks from banana gag again. After that Miss seemed to be satisfied. And then she told: "I can make you scream when I want, I can make you have an orgasm when I want, I don't even have to do anything for it" -- one phrase, just a phrase, but somehow, it made this whore feel a strike of submission.Some kind of deep submission, when whore completely understands her place and that makes her ready for everything her owner will order. Rather strange and very-very pleasant feeling.

Then whore was milked by Miss for the first time and even gave some milk. Whore was so glad, that she could finally do it (milk producing). Although it hurts a bit while sucking, but it was still very pleasant. Then whore had to drink all produced milk.

After all that Miss made herself comfortable on the couch and whore was placed nearby on the carpet, chained to the leash post. Miss had put on whore bits and bridle. Whore was not supposed to talk again and can emote not much then an animal can. Miss Eve wanted to ask whore some questions. During that whore  could only answer "yes" or "no" and emote in some way. At first it was not easy to keep silent, but as the talk goes on, whore felt very comfortable without right for the words and at the end of conversation acts easily.

Whore felt comfortable, sitting naked, on her knees, before Miss Eve, having no names, maps, TP and inventory access, having no right to speak and no chance to run away. If only someone tell this whore some time ago, she would not believe that person. And whore can hardly believe herself, writing all that now.

And at the end of conversation Miss asked the main question of that day (at least for the whore):

Miss Eve slides a finger briefly through your hair and smiles
Whore take a deep breath in...
Miss Eve: Then a question whore, are you happy like this?
Whore waits a bit...
Miss Eve: Hmm, could you be happy like this
Whore slowly nods...
Miss Eve grins
Whore feels a tear drops from her eye...
Whore looks down...
Miss Eve: I somehow knew that would be the answer
Whore moves a bit forward, but can't move much...
Miss Eve wipes the tear away and hugs you
Whore tries to stay as close to Miss as she can
Miss Eve: I want you to remember what you just answered whore, and to know what you are once again. For it is what you are
Whore takes several deep breathes... and nods
Whore feels more tears came from her eyes, but she looks happily at Miss...

And that's absolutely true feelings. Thank you for all that, Miss Eve.

Long-waited present

Today was a wonderful evening for this whore.Alvie was a bit free and had a chance to take this whore's chastity off. Oh! What a feeling... whore was not taking that belt for some months already. Whore wishes everyone to try something like that... at least once... just to know what it is.
Some time ago Alvie was surprised with this whore, having 99 of recovery on the Sensations HUD. Whore has got used to that state, having nearly every touch make her horny and easily dripping from even a short play. So today Alvie took whore's chastity off to give whore a release, so long-waited and so many times begged for release.
There's a wonderful wooden frame at Miss's house, that can be used as a solo bondage device, as a  posing device, and as a two or three people sex device. Alvie and this whore know this device quite enough, as some we both were used on it in some other SIMs. Once Alvie started touching this whore, whore felt out into the state of desiring more and more, unstopping pleasure, riding on waves of orgasms. From some moment whore started to answer Alvie, touching her and making Alvie to orgasm too. It was a loud action of passion and love.
We were so concentrated on pleasure, that didn't mention Miss Eve's appearance. And even after we did, we can hardly stop from touching each other, and kept kissing .

(whore and Alvie can't stop kissing and touching each other, even, when Miss Eve looks at them)

But after a bit looking at slaves playing, Miss decided to take part and fucked Alvie with her strapon, and whore had to sit under them, catching juices, dripping from Alvie's hot pleasure hole. But Miss Eve would not be a real Miss without teaching something this slaves even in a situation like that. After some hardcore fuck shу suddenly stopped, leaving both Alvie and this whore on the very edge of orgasm, making them beg for continuation. Miss Eve was very generous and granted both some more releases.
This day whore was so relaxed and so satisfied, she wasn't for a long-long time (if she was ever!).

PS. One more time thanks to Miss Eve for permission and Alvie for execution.

Whore's favorite blogs

After moving her diary to the public blog, whore started to look through blogs much more often. It's much easier to get new posts from different blogs, when you are a registered user of this system.
At first whore marked herself as a follower of some blogs she was fond of long ago. But after some time whore have found some more blogs, seemed to be interesting to her. And then, looking at followers of that blogs, whore opened for herself even more blogs. That's how whore is following now some blogs and is glad to see some new posts nearly every day.

(not this whore, just an old picture to illustrate this post)

In this post whore would like to tell about some of her favorites blogs (some old ones, and some pretty new for her).

Married Man's Fucktoy
This is the blog, whore was reading for a very long time. And whore is nearly admiring that woman.Fucktoy describes her way to submission and her feeling along that way. Reading this blog for quite a long time, whore see the development and the growth of a slave part of that woman. It's very interesting to see how she's becoming more and more submissive and how her limits are expanding and vanishing.



life as slave kk / My naked ass slaveAnother "old friend" of this whore is a blog of a ~50-years old woman, happy in her relations with her owner. She's another happy woman in a state of 24/7 slave fro her master, telling her readers about activities and her feelings. It's very interesting to this whore to read about it. Whore would like to learn to make her thought in post as clear, as this woman can.

Alternative Mindsets
This blog is something new to this whore. Whore found it by followers of some other blog and felt something very similar in the author with herself. Thу author of this blog likes humiliation and objectification (degradation in some way). She is fond of it in RL (!!!). And she really plays a doll and a cow (not for 24/7, but still she's trying it in RL!). And that's so exciting! Whore likes to learn that woman feelings and read her ideas about all that.

Female Orgasm Denial
The last, but not the less interesting blog is about orgasm denial. Woman orgasm denial. The thought about it is making this whore drip. And in this blog there are different posts from different people, telling about themselves, their needs, occupation and of course desires to cum. The blogger seems to give directives for how long should this or that person cum or be denied. There are some teases and some ideas for arranging a denial periods. Wonderful blog to read from the beginning up to the end.

Well, there are much more interesting blog this whore follows. Hope to have some time to write about them either.