Submitting to a timelock

Working at home I had a big problem of disturbing myself by desire to read BDSM web sites. Sometimes I just couldn't stop myself doing it. It was a big problem, “eating” a lot of my time. So I had to protect myself from my own desire (as there was no one by my side powerful enough to order me).
After some kind of research I've got a filter on my computer to cut out myself from adult sites. It's small and very easy thing to deal with. I'ts called "K9 Web Protection".  It's free and just enough to pull the leash as a reminding. And this post is not about internet security :-)
The filter setup is protected by a password. To have no access to the setup I generate random password (15 characters long) and set it. The image with password I crypt with a Time Lock tool (it crypts images for some time)

So now I set a new password every day, crypt it in the morning for all day to have no access to adult sites during work hours. And in the evening I get the password and can spend some time, reading them. Setting different parameters of the Time Lock can make life easier or harder. One day, for example, random addition to the time made me wait until nearly midnight to have some minutes of unrestricted web surfing.

This scheme seems so good:

1. I have to spend all my time working.
2. The fact of limitation makes me feels submissive during the day, and I really need it.
3. The fact that a dumb computer has a power over me adds humiliation, and that’s what makes it all even more exciting.

What's even more interesting, the scheme (setting an unmemorable password and then crypt it for some time) can easily be added by another person. Other person can set TimeLock parameters, can even keep a key and give it when he decides I deserve it. With some additional configuring a remote person can even has an access to the filter setting directly, so he can change the password and parameters without me even knowing it.

Maybe you can think some other ideas about this scheme? Feel free to share.

PS. Oh, I think I really need someone to submit to. :-)

To everything...there is a season - turn, turn, turn... (c) The Birds

After some time of inactivity, problems with RL, researches in SL and RL. I'm back to SL (finally). To move further, to learn more about myself, to develop my submissive side, to learn more about myself as a submissive.

After a period of wandering through SIMs, chatting with people and making new friends, I've met a strong willed person: Mistress Helen Schapira. It happened accidentally, as many valuable things happens. I was moving through a SIM with a lot of ponyplay stuff. And on one of the circle I've two women and a ponygirl. One woman was telling another what she need to do, going round the circle. Her tone of voice was calm and steady, but at the same moment demanding and leaving no space for misunderstanding or disobedience. That was Mistress Helen Schapira. I came closer and watched them for a while... them Mistress Helen asked if I was interested in ponyplay, I answered, that it's nice, but I'm not a fan... however, when she learned that I want to try and have some gear, she told me to wear it and after that there were no chance to say "no" for me (her manner of speech just make me obey for some reason). Very soon I was running in the circle, listening to the clicks of Mistress whip.
I thought a lot next day... I definitely liked the way Mistress Helen treated me and addressed me. There is something in her manner of speech, absolutely hypnotizing me, it makes me want to obey her. And finally, I asked Mistress Helena, if she'd like to take me as her pony-slave for a trial period of one week And she agreed!
That's how it came so, that I'm owned again.

(I submits Miss Helen Schapira in stables of PPP)

I have no idea of what Mistress is planning for me as her slave. However, she has Gorean experience and has tendency to treat and address me a bit Gorean style. Maybe she will train me for it? I don't know and submit to her choice and will. And that make my submissive part spread wider inside my mind (what a pleasant feeling).

PS. Mistress Helen Schapira is not against this blog, so, hope I will have more things to share with you here.

Whore's favorite blogs

After moving her diary to the public blog, whore started to look through blogs much more often. It's much easier to get new posts from different blogs, when you are a registered user of this system.
At first whore marked herself as a follower of some blogs she was fond of long ago. But after some time whore have found some more blogs, seemed to be interesting to her. And then, looking at followers of that blogs, whore opened for herself even more blogs. That's how whore is following now some blogs and is glad to see some new posts nearly every day.

(not this whore, just an old picture to illustrate this post)

In this post whore would like to tell about some of her favorites blogs (some old ones, and some pretty new for her).

Married Man's Fucktoy
This is the blog, whore was reading for a very long time. And whore is nearly admiring that woman.Fucktoy describes her way to submission and her feeling along that way. Reading this blog for quite a long time, whore see the development and the growth of a slave part of that woman. It's very interesting to see how she's becoming more and more submissive and how her limits are expanding and vanishing.



life as slave kk / My naked ass slaveAnother "old friend" of this whore is a blog of a ~50-years old woman, happy in her relations with her owner. She's another happy woman in a state of 24/7 slave fro her master, telling her readers about activities and her feelings. It's very interesting to this whore to read about it. Whore would like to learn to make her thought in post as clear, as this woman can.

Alternative Mindsets
This blog is something new to this whore. Whore found it by followers of some other blog and felt something very similar in the author with herself. Thу author of this blog likes humiliation and objectification (degradation in some way). She is fond of it in RL (!!!). And she really plays a doll and a cow (not for 24/7, but still she's trying it in RL!). And that's so exciting! Whore likes to learn that woman feelings and read her ideas about all that.

Female Orgasm Denial
The last, but not the less interesting blog is about orgasm denial. Woman orgasm denial. The thought about it is making this whore drip. And in this blog there are different posts from different people, telling about themselves, their needs, occupation and of course desires to cum. The blogger seems to give directives for how long should this or that person cum or be denied. There are some teases and some ideas for arranging a denial periods. Wonderful blog to read from the beginning up to the end.

Well, there are much more interesting blog this whore follows. Hope to have some time to write about them either.

What does submision means

"Submission is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else." 

Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner’s English Dictionary.

"Submission  is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person" 

New Oxford American Dictionary.

A very simple question very difficult to answer to.

This whore.

Dictionaries are good and whore agreed with them. But submission is always something special to every slave/sub.
For better understanding what submission is for this whore in details, submission can be separated into two parts: actions and feelings.

Actions
Submission as actions is a kind of job, where you are always ready to do your best to please owner. Sometime tasks are not the ones you want to do, and from time to time you are to do something that will be "a small step for a man, but a giant leap..." for you as a submissive. And the only thing that make this whore to do that step -- is a submission to the owner.
But submission is not only performing this or that action. Sometimes, submission is being unable to perform some action. Long time ago, whore discovered the feeling of submission from being unable to do some common things (like when you can't walk, while tired in bondage, or you feel lost in SL when owner disables your inventory for the first time). This feeling of a little helplessness is so sweet and if there is some person who has made that, whore feels deep submission to this person.
Whore have learned a lot about submission as actions/restrains and hope to show good results. But there are still some goals to achieve. It's easy not to do things, when you can't do them. Much more difficult is to stop yourself when you want something (and can do it), but owner told you not to do it. And that's a thing whore has to learn, as she can't always stop herself.

Feelings
Submission is not only actions, much more and a lot more interesting part of submission is feelings. The feeling of submission is something really strange. Whore can define this feeling as a mix of lust, excitement, desire to fall on the knees and say "Yes, Miss" (this must be the feeling of submission, i suppose), some fear and an impulse to run away. This is very complicated and wonderful feeling at the same time.
Whore is not sure, but maybe it will be better to exclude from that mix the impulse to run away? But whore doesn't know how to do it at the moment.
Talking about feelings, that are linked in this whore with submission, would be wrong not to mention humiliation. For some reason (this reason is a secrete for this whore herself) humiliation and submission were always standing near in whore's mind. When whore is humiliated, a strong wave of submission hits this whore mind, and when whore feels submissive, she is willingly and easily humiliated (and after that another wave of submission and then desire for humiliation and so on and on).

Feelings, connected with submission are not so clear for whore, as actions. And it's much harder to understand what is already done in this part and what is not. Whore had come to SL to explore the sensual/emotional part of submission (as physical part of submission can be hardly explored in SL). And the most interesting thing for this whore in her feelings -- is the feeling of humiliation. As now you can see, humiliation is tightly linked with submission in this whore's mind.That's why whore thinks exploration of humiliation will make her understand her submission better.

All together now
As for submission generally, not divided into parts, for this whore it's a faithful and honest serving to the owner and her/his interests. The major thing in this service is to accept (fully and completely) that interests of the owner are more important then yours. Everything else is only a consequence of this major thing.
And the only way to make this acceptance deeper and more complete is to train it: accept interests in different situations, in different places, in different states of mind and mood, making this acceptance a bit harder from time to time, to develop and transform the system of values of the slave/sub.

PS. Whore can't say that it's a final result of her understanding submission. And any questions can be posted as comments and whore will answer them with great pleasure (maybe some other side of submission will be discovered).