Task done

Today whore had finally complete Miss Eve task, that was given to her at 23/10/2010. 
Whore had build a table, where a person can be locked, stuffed it with a script, working exact Miss Eve told. And today whore had finished a story, that includes some BDSM actions with an object like that.
Frankly speaking whore had planned much longer story with a bit longer plot, but finish it will be too long. That's why whore posts today the first part of it. Hope you will all like it. 
Please, feel free to comment (whore will try to correct spelling and all other mistakes in it).


Not to make a mess in this blog, whore has made a separate page for this story. The story is called "Jane"

Old course, new conditions

For the last week whore was rather busy at RL work and has not much time for SL. Nearly the same Miss Eve had. Whore still can't overcome her desire to train passing the course Miss build.But today whore tried to motivate herself for better performance.
First whore wants to tell, that she feels herself really horny due to some RL reasons. And an idea flashed in whore's head, while passing the course -- add some RL addition to push whore make course without mistakes as much times in a row, as she can.Whore likes a mix of pain and pleasure, and she saw 2 clothespins, that's why whore decided to put them on her nipples and play a game with following rules:

Thanks for a picture to this blog

1. Whore will wear clips, until she will pass course without mistakes for 4 times in a row.
2. For every mistake whore will squeeze her breasts with clips (that really hurts!)

For the first several mistakes whore had to hurt herself and start to count passes from the beginning. Finally whore managed to achieve her goal and get clips off.

That made whore so excited and aroused, that whore couldn't stop herself from telling about it to Miss Eve and ask her to include RL clips into some SL actions. After very intent look, Miss agreed.

PS. for the last week whore added herself 1 extra pass to every goal. Last time whore had to go 8 passes in a row (starting countdown once after a failure on the 6th pass).

Out of mind...

It was really a hard day. Well, not a day, but all the period of time (for the last week or too). And today was just a mind blowing one. However whore had nearly half an hour to stay online and automatically launched SL and  wrote Miss about her abilities and time.
It seemed, that Miss Eve came very quick, or maybe whore's mind just couldn't keep pace with the time. Miss started with her usual manner, setting things and parameters for her property: put bits and bridle on whore, remind her that she has no permission to talk and will be punished, if she will. Whore could only nod, and that was not only because she had no choice, but there was no strength for something else.

Then Miss started to making plans on what she's going to do with whore, whore nods, trying to get the meanings of her words, deeds and gestures. Everything was in some kind of mental fog, thoughts were starting and breaking not completed. Some words were coming to whore through that fog, some were left there for eternity. One time Miss phrase cut the fog: "Remember, you are mine, whore", and whore manged to focus her eyes on Miss and nods confidently, but then fog came back.

Miss decided to ask whore questions and punish her for every wrong or not correct answer. Whore hoped that it would be a training to her to give a direct answer with less words, then usual. But Miss started with a simple question, that needed whore to strain her mind just a bit: "Three basic values in BDSM?", whore tried to think, could remember them in her native language, but could translate only two of them, and completely failed to watch  quickly into the vocabulary.

But that was nearly the end... fog in the whore's mind was getting dense and whore hardly could understand anything that was going on not only in SL, but in RL too. Whore understood that it was her last chance to move to the kennel, because some minutes later she would fail to do even this. Miss asked something else, whore answered something, they moved to the couch, but that was just like in a dream, very sticky hard dream... and finally whore could find strength to ask Miss to let her log off. It was a moment, when whore's world (RL first of all) screwed in something abnormal, frightening and disgusting. Whore needed to do something with that, alone. That's why whore made all excuses she could and ran to the kennel. A moment in kennel before logging off was painted in a color of safety and peace. But there was a whole screwed ugly world around whore to fix. And whore logged off.



PS. World was screwed and ugly all that night and fixed up only after a good sleep. Now whore is fine, and very busy with her job.

New point of view

Last day whore came online for some small amount of time and felt an urge to pass through the dog-training course. Whore just can't resist and spent next half an hour running over and over the logs, jumping over walls and passing through tube and tumbler. Whore found out some specific things about her movements (whore can move only on all four of her laps) and behavior of some parts of the course. Whore found out the action made by a SPACE button while movements. Whore was training overall (with no order, with no conscious reason). When time was over, whore wen to her kennel and understood she really likes what she were doing and she was doing it to perform better before Miss next time.

Some days after the "next time" came. Miss Eve called Alvie to see whore at passing the course. And whore failed. For some unknown reason whore felt very nervous and unsure and felt from the log between two high object at first, and then missed a the last log (leading to the ground). Whore felt awful, nearly crying. As whore was in ML whore didn't look up at Miss Eve or Alvie... Miss was not satisfied with whore's performance too, but gave whore another chance and on the third time whore passed the course completely without mistakes. That makes whore a bit more happier. Whore even afford herself to look up at Miss Eve and Alvie.Whore saw a picture like this (see below):

(whore's new point of view)

And whore understood how right her position was. Whore feels no right to look at others otherwise, then upward. The feeling was intensified by the fact, that Miss Eve and Alvie were discussing something about this whore, without not even mentioning this whore presence. Like talking about some animal or even an object (and that's again very near to the reality for now).
Oh, it's so had to describe the mix of feelings from that moment. Here's just some of them:

• joy and happiness from completing the course, completing Miss order, being near Miss
• humiliation from being lowed to the ground and being muted, and restricted to ML,
• arouse from being humiliated and having nothing to do with that,
• even more aroused from being aroused from such awful and shameful things,
• submission to any decision of Miss Eve and 
• readiness to complete any Miss Eve order

Alvie has something else to do and leave very quick after that. Miss Eve lead this whore to a skybox (a fireplace) and had a talk with her. Yes, Miss Eve removed bits and bridle (with chat restrictions) and asked several questions. One of them was how whore feels about getting a OC Collar back. And whore felt really nothing about that and answered just common words about submitting to any Miss decisions. That was a mistake, as Miss wanted to get a direct answer about whore feeling. And after some tips from Miss, whore finally answered: "Whore feels ready for that, Miss". That was the answer Miss liked, but as it was said not at once, Miss decided to lock this whore into the cage for a 30 minutes, to have whore think about her style of answering (yes, it's a huge problem, as this whore can't answer short and direct,  always writing a lot about all questions aspects and some aspect laying close to the subject). Well, maybe it's just another story, and whore will write about it some time later...

Pet's feelings

Today whore finally met her owner again online (for some RL reasons whore was not online for more then a week). Whore was very-very glad, in spite of she can't say how glad she was, because of bits and bridle and chat restrictions. But hope Miss understood everything by a wide whore's smile.
Miss showed a new training course for her pet (this whore) and ordered to go through it. Unfortunately whore didn't notice the start mark and tried to pass it from the finish. After several remarks from Miss whore felt herself so silly (just like a stupid little puppy *blushes*). At last whore saw the green mark of the beginning and passed through it.
The course consists of a jumping area, climbing log and a log at some height, a pipe, a tumbler (where you can go only over the green spinning line) with a water bath under it, a log to come down to the ground level. You can see it all at a picture right below.

(a training ground for a dog-whore)

But whore must spoil before spin and failed the first pass completely: too long jumps and a fall down from tumbler. Miss demanded another try and that time whore completed the path. After landing to the finish spot, whore came to Miss with the overflowing feeling of happiness from completing Miss command. Whore tried to express it some way, but could only smile happily, listening Miss telling whore was a good pet. The only thin whore thought at that moment was th thought that she has made Miss Eve happy. And that thought was filling whore's soul with pleasure and joy. So whore looked upward at Miss with a happy smile on her face.

Right at that moment Miss Eve said: "I want you to think about something Whore. Look at how you are sitting here, bit and bridle, cuffs on, chasted.Over all, leashed to an owner, nothing more then an animal, not even with behavior. I tell you to do or not to do something, you obey. I want to know how this feels for you whore.". Whore had no chance to answer Miss at that moment (as pet was gagged by bits and bridle). And now whore can answer Miss: "Wonderful!". Whore has no idea how it works, but it works for her and that's absolutely clear. For some reason understanding the fact of all restrictions, total power exchange, absolute control and complete dependence makes this whore want to say something, but not anything particular, want to go somewhere, but nowhere particular and as a result -- whore stands still and silent. And the only thing, that can get whore out of that state is an order of her owner.
This is a mysterious feeling for whore, as she can't understand it, can't analyze it, but can watch it again and again inside her mind (in RL!!!!). And that's whore is thankful Miss Eve for.

PS. Maybe some day whore will find out the source and mechanism of that feeling, but as for now, whore will just feel it and be happy with it. Thank you again, Miss Eve for this wonderful emotional gift.

Dog-whore

Today Miss Eve said that she'd prefer this whore to be trained as her dog-whore. That means no more milking but dog-training. Miss said, that she's gonna build an agility-course for this whore. And she even showed an example of it's part. Whore tried to pass some part of it, and found out that it was not so easy. But much more easy in the mouselook (ML).
Some words about ML. ML is not handy for chat. That's why whore doesn't use it very often (who does?). Switching to it was some kind of restriction, whore has to make to herself. And after having to switch into this mode, whore felt even more restricted and helpless, then before (having no inventory, teleport, map, names and radar) and very depended on Miss. This feeling was a surprise for whore (she had not felt something like this for a long-long time), but a very pleasant surprise... as whore likes this feeling so much! Another thing ML is good for -- it forces whore to focus all her attention to the SL window, as there's not chat history in it and everything that was said is disappearing after some time from the screen.
All this brought whore to a thought, that ML can mark some mode of this whore's mind (like in the blog of Alternative mindset, where a girl mark her state of a doll by wearing a sepia lens, if whore is not mistaken), mind of a non-human being, a dog or any other animal Miss wants this whore to be. Whore liked this mode so much, that even asked if Misss can lock her to ML (unfortunately there's no such an option in the collar). However, now whore has a new marker of her mind state, and it can be a good anchor (of being in this state, and then even bring whore to this state) and can be used in further whore development as Miss Eve's dog-whore.

Another thing whore has to do now, as a dog -- is to crawl on her knees and hands. That seems very natural for a new state of this whore.

PS. Sorry for this post being a bit muddled, and a bit late. For some RL reasons there was no chance for this whore to post it earlier and be online too. Hope everything will be OK from now on... at least for some time, as whore missed Miss Eve a lot during this period of silence.

Half birthday

Sorry for not posting for some period -- a lot of things to get care of in "out of internet life". But some days later Miss asked if this whore can be online today (08/11/2010), as it will be some special date. And whore answered "yes, Miss" (what else she can afford to answer?).
Whore wondered what will be special on that day... there were several ideas:

1. Miss will have some special treat for this whore (maybe including some other people to come to some time)
2. It will be some special date, like Miss birthday, Whore's birthday (is it???) or something like that

Well, whore was partly right in every idea.

When Miss came online to this whore, She told that right a half year ago Miss met this whore and they get acquainted. So it's a kind of birthday (by half) of their SL relations. Well, that's absolutely true (whore could check it in her blog) and everyone can read about it in the post "Training with Miss Eve Wildmist".
After that day a lot of things have happened. And finally, whore is here, at a place she's now. But this post is not about whore's place in SL. This post is about some gifts Miss favorably gave this whore.

The first thing whore was given -- was a new set of collar and cuffs from dominatech (it's called iControl). Whore is only learning what it is to wear it, and at first it seemed not so comfortable as the OC Collar (especially because of chat commands absence), but hope it's more comfortable for Miss to use it, cause only this matters.
The most impressing thing about this collar was the paragraph from it's manual about total control.  It says, that in a special mode of owning, slave can be sold or just given to any other person, having no chance to prevent this (hope Miss will not use it, but whore understands, she has full right for that at any time and without any explanations for this whore). Whore shivered, reading that... and after Miss permission, turn that mode on.

Another gift, Miss Eve gave her whore that day, was a new chastity belt from T&T (Do they have a site to give a link to?). Whore tried a demo version of it later and thinks it's a powerful device, but too expensive for it's functions (most of functions are nearly the same, any collar has). But however, no one can choose gifts, and no chance for a slave to go against the will of an owner.

(whore in her new equipment, listening to Miss Eve)

From this day  whore wears all that (and only that) permanently and very thankful to Miss for her attention, attitude and training. And now whore has some new things to learn how to operate.

Pet's place

Life is going on. RL and SL.
After much talking with Miss Eve, after her reading whore's favorite stories, and some time, Miss Eve decided this whore to make another step toward her real nature of a complete property of Mistress. Today Miss Eve ordered this whore's profile photo and placed it on the cage (another part of that cage is marked with Alvie's picture). After that Miss proclaimed new rules for this whore:

1. Whore should logg in and off only, placed inside her cage (keeping door closed, but unlocked).
2. Whore can't use teleport inside the house and should walk up and down the stairs.
3. Whore can't be inside the house alone and can only pass through it, walking to some other destination (like a skybox, for example)
4. Whore is now must learn to emote less human way (not hands, head and so on, but only paws, muzzle, etc.)

 (whore in her part of the cage)

That's a new place of this whore in the SL.

Wonderful story...

This day was a busy Monday and whore has to work a lot. Whore decided to let Miss know, that whore will absent online today and logged to SL. For some strange coincidence, Miss was online just at near the place whore came. Whore explained that she's busy with some RL work, but can't stop herself from chatting with Miss working meanwhile.
It's very important for relations (and D/s relations are relations too) to have opportunity and a wish for communication. Whore highly appreciates Miss spending her time, talking to this whore, explaining or asking something. This day it was just a chat, but in some part of it whore was describing what she likes in submission and remembered a story, that she has read several years ago. One part of that story makes this whore's mind blow. Whore told in her own words what was that about and then tried to find this story. At first whore has no success, as she did not remember the names of the characters and any other details. But then whore went to the same site, she had found that story for the first time of her life and found it there. The story was there, but was translated from the English to whore's native language. But knowing the names, whore found it rather quickly.
And now whore can happily share this story with all readers of this blog. Story is called "Loyal Daughter" by cowgirl. Hope you will like the reading.

PS. Whore considers the last page the most powerful and can't read it without getting aroused, horny and submissive.

Building, scripting and imagine

Today whore has got a new task from Miss Eve. The task is to build some object, so that a person can be placed there (Miss gave a poseball to be placed in the object) and looked like being in shackles. Then whore must make a script of changing this object color into black by clicking on it (if this whore is not far then 5m from the object, regardless how far the clicker is). And finally, whore has to write a fiction story, containing usage of this object.
For that reasons Miss Eve gave whore permission to build in some part of her house and make her inventory accessible.

 (a pose of a poseball whore was given)

First of all, whore started to think about an object, that she will build. Whore couldn't found any suitable pictures of shackle, where a person was sitting. So whore tried to think about it herself. Main ideas for it are:

1. А cage, like a round cage for a bird with bars by perimeter. So person will be locked by ankle and maybe neck.
2. Another one (whore likes more) is some kind of human furniture. For example a table with a person locked inside, so there's only head above the top. So another person sitting at that table can communicate... or use locked person any other way. Something like in this post. A variant of this direction -- is a bed, where a face of a locked slave can be used as one of the posts, or a pillow or something.
3. The third idea -- is a kind of a human-toilet or a face-chair. It can be achieved with rotating the sitball and cover legs with some decoration.

As for scripting, whore will read manuals and look at her previous results, as far as whore remembers, script will not be very complicated (maybe changing color of multiPrimed object can be a bit tricky, but not too hard).

The last part of the task -- is the story. Whore has some ideas, but that it depends on the object that will be finally build.

Talk to a stranger

Whore was waiting for Miss to come online, when an unknown Sir IMed her. Whore replied and phrase by phrase there was a talkю Whore tried to show her manners and be polite with  Sir. Sir, who's name is Steve Fugue, seemed be interested in that conversation. Sir Steve was impressed with good manners of this whore and even wrote about it to Miss Eve (hope he did and Miss Eve will be glad to hear that).
After Sir Steve figured out, that whore is owned and strongly restricted, but still can be used by anyone, whom Miss Eve will like to give whore to. That make Sir Steve write something else to Miss Eve (whore has no idea what was that, but fully rely upon Miss Eve clear mind and her love to her property).
Sir talked to whore one more time a bit later. And whore knows, that Miss Eve had a short talk to him. But whore has no idea what are Miss Eve's plans concerning this. And that's a great feeling of unknown future, but 100% assurance in the fact, that Miss Eve will make a right decision.

And there's one more feeling about that talk and Sir's opinion about whore's manners: whore is proud to be interesting for people (for use, talk, or both). Thank you Miss for training (maybe indirectly sometimes) this whore.

A new pet

Today Miss Eve has got a new pet... but let this whore tell everything in order.

The day before Miss Eve had put this whore on a massage device, that sucked and massaged her breast (what a wonderful feeling it was). And even added one more vibrator to this whore cunt. Unfortunately that lasts not so long.
Unfortunately, whore had to leave that day, but on the next day Miss Eve continued playing with her whore.

She put her on a device with 2 vibrators and run them both. To train whore keep silent, Miss put a banana gag into the whore's mouth and set it up to shock whore's tong every time she's trying to say something out loud. At first it was not difficult, but as whore was coming closer and close to the edge of orgasm, keeping muted was getting harder and harder.

 (whore ridding 2 vibrators at the same time)

Finally whore had got shocked from the belt and gag in one time. That made whore cry more, and another shock to her mouth made whore strive hard and shut up. Then absolutely unexpected, Miss took whore's chastity off and let whore have an full-blown orgasm, that made this whore scream one more time and get several shocks from banana gag again. After that Miss seemed to be satisfied. And then she told: "I can make you scream when I want, I can make you have an orgasm when I want, I don't even have to do anything for it" -- one phrase, just a phrase, but somehow, it made this whore feel a strike of submission.Some kind of deep submission, when whore completely understands her place and that makes her ready for everything her owner will order. Rather strange and very-very pleasant feeling.

Then whore was milked by Miss for the first time and even gave some milk. Whore was so glad, that she could finally do it (milk producing). Although it hurts a bit while sucking, but it was still very pleasant. Then whore had to drink all produced milk.

After all that Miss made herself comfortable on the couch and whore was placed nearby on the carpet, chained to the leash post. Miss had put on whore bits and bridle. Whore was not supposed to talk again and can emote not much then an animal can. Miss Eve wanted to ask whore some questions. During that whore  could only answer "yes" or "no" and emote in some way. At first it was not easy to keep silent, but as the talk goes on, whore felt very comfortable without right for the words and at the end of conversation acts easily.

Whore felt comfortable, sitting naked, on her knees, before Miss Eve, having no names, maps, TP and inventory access, having no right to speak and no chance to run away. If only someone tell this whore some time ago, she would not believe that person. And whore can hardly believe herself, writing all that now.

And at the end of conversation Miss asked the main question of that day (at least for the whore):

Miss Eve slides a finger briefly through your hair and smiles
Whore take a deep breath in...
Miss Eve: Then a question whore, are you happy like this?
Whore waits a bit...
Miss Eve: Hmm, could you be happy like this
Whore slowly nods...
Miss Eve grins
Whore feels a tear drops from her eye...
Whore looks down...
Miss Eve: I somehow knew that would be the answer
Whore moves a bit forward, but can't move much...
Miss Eve wipes the tear away and hugs you
Whore tries to stay as close to Miss as she can
Miss Eve: I want you to remember what you just answered whore, and to know what you are once again. For it is what you are
Whore takes several deep breathes... and nods
Whore feels more tears came from her eyes, but she looks happily at Miss...

And that's absolutely true feelings. Thank you for all that, Miss Eve.

Long-waited present

Today was a wonderful evening for this whore.Alvie was a bit free and had a chance to take this whore's chastity off. Oh! What a feeling... whore was not taking that belt for some months already. Whore wishes everyone to try something like that... at least once... just to know what it is.
Some time ago Alvie was surprised with this whore, having 99 of recovery on the Sensations HUD. Whore has got used to that state, having nearly every touch make her horny and easily dripping from even a short play. So today Alvie took whore's chastity off to give whore a release, so long-waited and so many times begged for release.
There's a wonderful wooden frame at Miss's house, that can be used as a solo bondage device, as a  posing device, and as a two or three people sex device. Alvie and this whore know this device quite enough, as some we both were used on it in some other SIMs. Once Alvie started touching this whore, whore felt out into the state of desiring more and more, unstopping pleasure, riding on waves of orgasms. From some moment whore started to answer Alvie, touching her and making Alvie to orgasm too. It was a loud action of passion and love.
We were so concentrated on pleasure, that didn't mention Miss Eve's appearance. And even after we did, we can hardly stop from touching each other, and kept kissing .

(whore and Alvie can't stop kissing and touching each other, even, when Miss Eve looks at them)

But after a bit looking at slaves playing, Miss decided to take part and fucked Alvie with her strapon, and whore had to sit under them, catching juices, dripping from Alvie's hot pleasure hole. But Miss Eve would not be a real Miss without teaching something this slaves even in a situation like that. After some hardcore fuck shу suddenly stopped, leaving both Alvie and this whore on the very edge of orgasm, making them beg for continuation. Miss Eve was very generous and granted both some more releases.
This day whore was so relaxed and so satisfied, she wasn't for a long-long time (if she was ever!).

PS. One more time thanks to Miss Eve for permission and Alvie for execution.

Bits and bridle

Some time ago Miss Eve gave this whore a "present". It was a set of bits and bridle (commonly used for ponies).

 (whore wearing bridle)

Whore liked it so much (don't know exactly was it because it's a bridle and whore likes ponyplay, or because it was a present from Miss). But Miss told whore, that from now on, when bits and bridle are on this whore, she should keep silent and must not talk, but still can emote. Whore understood all that and some days later had a chance to practice in keeping herself silent.
Some days later whore was wearing bits and bridle, when Alvie came (she didn't know about new rule for this whore) and started asking questions. That was so hard for whore to explain anything with emotes only. Miss laughed a lot. And whore felt herself so helpless and so vulnerable. And that was a hit of feeling of submission and desire. Whore felt something like that again, when one day after putting bits and bridle, Miss Eve said: "you are an animal, and with a bit and bridle you should not speak". It seems to be a small step to another level of degradation.

Whore's favorite blogs

After moving her diary to the public blog, whore started to look through blogs much more often. It's much easier to get new posts from different blogs, when you are a registered user of this system.
At first whore marked herself as a follower of some blogs she was fond of long ago. But after some time whore have found some more blogs, seemed to be interesting to her. And then, looking at followers of that blogs, whore opened for herself even more blogs. That's how whore is following now some blogs and is glad to see some new posts nearly every day.

(not this whore, just an old picture to illustrate this post)

In this post whore would like to tell about some of her favorites blogs (some old ones, and some pretty new for her).

Married Man's Fucktoy
This is the blog, whore was reading for a very long time. And whore is nearly admiring that woman.Fucktoy describes her way to submission and her feeling along that way. Reading this blog for quite a long time, whore see the development and the growth of a slave part of that woman. It's very interesting to see how she's becoming more and more submissive and how her limits are expanding and vanishing.



life as slave kk / My naked ass slaveAnother "old friend" of this whore is a blog of a ~50-years old woman, happy in her relations with her owner. She's another happy woman in a state of 24/7 slave fro her master, telling her readers about activities and her feelings. It's very interesting to this whore to read about it. Whore would like to learn to make her thought in post as clear, as this woman can.

Alternative Mindsets
This blog is something new to this whore. Whore found it by followers of some other blog and felt something very similar in the author with herself. Thу author of this blog likes humiliation and objectification (degradation in some way). She is fond of it in RL (!!!). And she really plays a doll and a cow (not for 24/7, but still she's trying it in RL!). And that's so exciting! Whore likes to learn that woman feelings and read her ideas about all that.

Female Orgasm Denial
The last, but not the less interesting blog is about orgasm denial. Woman orgasm denial. The thought about it is making this whore drip. And in this blog there are different posts from different people, telling about themselves, their needs, occupation and of course desires to cum. The blogger seems to give directives for how long should this or that person cum or be denied. There are some teases and some ideas for arranging a denial periods. Wonderful blog to read from the beginning up to the end.

Well, there are much more interesting blog this whore follows. Hope to have some time to write about them either.

Miss Eve's home

Today whore would like to tell you about a beautiful place, Miss Eve has taken this whore to. It's Miss Eve's home. In fact, as far, as whore knows, it's Alvie's home too, but the person who get this whore here was Miss Eve... and Miss Eve orders Alvie... so... it's a wonderful place!

First of all it consists of 2 places: a house and a skybox. You could see house in many pictures in this blog. There are 2 levels. On the first floor there are rooms and a fireplace. There are also kennels and a wooden frame for bondage. On the second floor there are mainly rooms with different devices: one room with 2 big cages (one for Alvie, on is empty, yet), one room for milking devices (like the one, you can see on posts:  New home, new treatment... and Pregnancy).

As for the skybox -- it's mainly the openair place with a huge tree. There is a house on that tree (with 2 levels either). Very beautiful  tree, this whore has to say. And there are swings, and once, when whore was not tied or locked she had wonderful time swinging on them under that tree. That was a sweet moment of happiness and some part of freedom that was so accessible... so long time ago...

(swings)

Pregnancy

For the last two days whore was online every evening to learn more about Miss Eve new house and her new destiny. Miss Eve showed and tested on this whore a new training device to make whore's breasts produce milk.

(new breasts massage device)

It's really very nice thing, as it massages very gently, but firmly. This makes this whore drip in some 10-15 minutes and Miss didn't miss the chance to test whore's chastity belt shock.(Ouch!). That made this whore thinks that Miss wants her to be a milk producer. And as whore knows, and Miss marked that several time, saying that whore can't produce milk right now as she was not pregnant, whore decided to perform some search on the way she can get pregnant in SL.
Whore has found several HUDs. One of them was a Tantra Total Woman HUD. And it seems very interesting for this whore. Whore suggested this HUD to Miss, as a variant of developing and some new level of RP-ing, but that made Miss angry. Miss Eve told this whore not to tell her what shу should do with this whore. Whore was not thinking about ordering Miss, but only wanted to show some way, some ideas... maybe whore choose the wrong form of a suggestion (whore will have to work on this and find the way to show some ideas to Miss in a correct form). At least whore was not punished for that. Miss Eve even mentioned another HUD: Mama Allpa - much cheaper one (and apparently more popular, as it has much more reviews, then the Tantra Total Woman). Maybe some day whore will try some of them...
Some time later whore returned to the discussion of the pregnancy with Miss and Miss told that her attitude to it in SL is the same as in RL, she doesn't think this whore can care about a child, she's at least not male to make this whore pregnant. Well, that's all true. Even more Miss pointed that whore's pregnancy at current level of degradation will stop whore's degradation for some time in Miss Eve's eyes.

However, there was one more thing Miss mentioned. She said: "You are not yet fully "just a thing" in my eyes, though not fully normal too", and that it stops Miss from taking a baby from this whore. But taking a baby away will be ok with a "complete thing", as things can't care of babies. So whore has to be degrade to a "just a thing" for even more degradation (as pregnancy not for a child, but for milk and all that stuff seems very humiliating for this whore).
So, the conclusion: whore has to do her best on the degradation. And whore will!

New home, new treatment...

Today whore managed to come online and meet Miss Eve. As Miss Eve is moving to a new place (with bigger amount of prims), today whore was transported to a new SIM and a new house. In fact house looks pretty same.Maybe a bit more place and a bit more decoration. After a short show up of the house made by Alvie, Miss Eve showed this whore a new device for milking and feeding. It's really one of the evil thing... but nothing can be better for an owner of a human-animal. It gives owner all opportunity and leaves no choice for a pet.

(test pumping)

After that (and whore was really horny from those sucking pumps and feeding without any variant to reject any food coming right into the throat), whore made Miss a bit angry with her, as she was a bit slow and didn't guess about Miss wishing her move downstairs. Miss said that that this whore is not smarter then an animal. Whore was listening to all that, looking to the floor and for her own shame felt her cunt start dripping. That was awful... awful shame... and awfully big arousal (whore blushes even writing about it). But that's what this whore is... a stupid horny humiliation whore (sometime it's unbelievable that this is written by me)

(dripping while humiliated)

As whore was doing her best no to make a spot on a Miss carpet, Miss went on and asked how whore felt about first try of milking and feeding. Miss also wanted to know if whore still wants to be an animal. Whore agreed for that, as that will be a great experience of true degradation for her. And whore must say now, that she hopes, that will be interesting to Miss too. And then Miss made a notice, that made whore's heart miss a beat: "I must warn you, you might get just that, and you will be treated like that". And whore asked Miss if this new treatment will be permanent for the rest of her life? But Miss hurried to leave (some RL urgent deals) and left whore's question without answer.

The rest of this day whore was thinking about it... and finally accepted that she has no really choice and just wishes to server Miss as a whore, as an animal or as anything Miss wants her to be.

Sir Alwin

Yesturday whore met with another Master, a friend of Miss Eve - Sir Alwin (whore don't know his lastname, as he didn't tell it, and whore has no names for a long-long time). Whore come online to see Miss Eve, and met Alvie (a friend of Miss Eve, see this post for more information). Whore have not see Alvie for a very long time, and wondered how she was and what was new in her life. Whore knew, that Alvie is owned by a new master and seems to be very happy about it. Whore also wanted to know what kind of training does Alvie have now, as it's always interesting to know how submission is developing in others. Alvie told only that her new Master is not only owns her in SL, but also guides her in RL (oh, that's so wonderful start for a RL sub). And then she told that all other questions whore can ask her Master personal, as he was online at that moment. Frankly speaking, whore didn't want to ask all that Alvie's master, but he came and without nearly no questions (seems that Alvie IM-ed him the situation) told about their SL and RL relationships. Whore's curiosity was satisfied. Then Sir told that he will look after both of us, until Miss Eve will not com online. Sir and Alvie made themself comfortable on the couch and whore had to be near the post on the floor.

(whore has such a fat ass in this picture...)

Sir told that Miss Eve had shown him this whore diary and stories, that were placed on the same server, where whore's diary was at first. Whore was a bit confused, but everything is made in SL by this whore belongs to the owner of this whore and Miss has all rights to do whatever she wants with that. Sir told that he knew about this whore fantasies about transforming into a cow or human cow (stories were mainly about that) and wonders if whore still wants that. As whore was not thinking about that for some period of time it was a bit hard for her to answer and she started to talk about it (that was a mistake, and now whore understands it), instead of answering. Finally whore managed to say "Yes." and Sir continued.
After that talk Sir wanted whore to show how she can serve sexually to other slaves. Whore had to play with Alvie and if Sir will not be satisfied, whore will take place of Alvie. So whore tried her best and seemed to be satisfied, but Alvie had to leave for a sleep and whore didn't even get to her cunt (but Alvie was moistening already). Hope next time whore will show all her skills... and... maybe... if someone would like... someone will play with this whore cunt. As she was not touched by anything except chastity belt for so long...

PS. Before leaving this whore, Sir asked several more questions about being a cow and it seemed that he really thinks about this whore transformation and training as a cow... Hm... that would be nice... Hope Sir will ьфma this whore a really good cow (fat, mute, with huge milky breasts, but with the same main goal in her life, as a slave would have -- to please the owner).

Washing

Today Miss Eve wants to clean her property and to try new device for water torture. Miss was really kind today and was just washing this whore and not torture whore at all.

But for next time she promised to continue this whore ass training and remind whore the feeling of a shock (shivers every time remembering about it).

As another small task for this whore to write about, Miss told to state whore's thoughts on Miss attitude toward her property. Whore thinks it's not business of hers at all. But whore will be glad if Miss will make this whore behavior like the one she thinks a good slave should have and will watch strictly after it. Whore thinks this will make her better slave and will make company of this whore more pleasant for Miss and her friends. (Isn't it topping from the bottom?!)

Well, that's all for today, hope to have something more interesting to write about.

What does submision means

"Submission is a state in which people can no longer do what they want to do because they have been brought under the control of someone else." 

Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner’s English Dictionary.

"Submission  is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person" 

New Oxford American Dictionary.

A very simple question very difficult to answer to.

This whore.

Dictionaries are good and whore agreed with them. But submission is always something special to every slave/sub.
For better understanding what submission is for this whore in details, submission can be separated into two parts: actions and feelings.

Actions
Submission as actions is a kind of job, where you are always ready to do your best to please owner. Sometime tasks are not the ones you want to do, and from time to time you are to do something that will be "a small step for a man, but a giant leap..." for you as a submissive. And the only thing that make this whore to do that step -- is a submission to the owner.
But submission is not only performing this or that action. Sometimes, submission is being unable to perform some action. Long time ago, whore discovered the feeling of submission from being unable to do some common things (like when you can't walk, while tired in bondage, or you feel lost in SL when owner disables your inventory for the first time). This feeling of a little helplessness is so sweet and if there is some person who has made that, whore feels deep submission to this person.
Whore have learned a lot about submission as actions/restrains and hope to show good results. But there are still some goals to achieve. It's easy not to do things, when you can't do them. Much more difficult is to stop yourself when you want something (and can do it), but owner told you not to do it. And that's a thing whore has to learn, as she can't always stop herself.

Feelings
Submission is not only actions, much more and a lot more interesting part of submission is feelings. The feeling of submission is something really strange. Whore can define this feeling as a mix of lust, excitement, desire to fall on the knees and say "Yes, Miss" (this must be the feeling of submission, i suppose), some fear and an impulse to run away. This is very complicated and wonderful feeling at the same time.
Whore is not sure, but maybe it will be better to exclude from that mix the impulse to run away? But whore doesn't know how to do it at the moment.
Talking about feelings, that are linked in this whore with submission, would be wrong not to mention humiliation. For some reason (this reason is a secrete for this whore herself) humiliation and submission were always standing near in whore's mind. When whore is humiliated, a strong wave of submission hits this whore mind, and when whore feels submissive, she is willingly and easily humiliated (and after that another wave of submission and then desire for humiliation and so on and on).

Feelings, connected with submission are not so clear for whore, as actions. And it's much harder to understand what is already done in this part and what is not. Whore had come to SL to explore the sensual/emotional part of submission (as physical part of submission can be hardly explored in SL). And the most interesting thing for this whore in her feelings -- is the feeling of humiliation. As now you can see, humiliation is tightly linked with submission in this whore's mind.That's why whore thinks exploration of humiliation will make her understand her submission better.

All together now
As for submission generally, not divided into parts, for this whore it's a faithful and honest serving to the owner and her/his interests. The major thing in this service is to accept (fully and completely) that interests of the owner are more important then yours. Everything else is only a consequence of this major thing.
And the only way to make this acceptance deeper and more complete is to train it: accept interests in different situations, in different places, in different states of mind and mood, making this acceptance a bit harder from time to time, to develop and transform the system of values of the slave/sub.

PS. Whore can't say that it's a final result of her understanding submission. And any questions can be posted as comments and whore will answer them with great pleasure (maybe some other side of submission will be discovered).

First online record

Today Miss Eve gave this whore a permission to post all her diary to the public blog. Whore is happy to make this step to the deeper submission (and to more open one too, as from now all this can be read by anyone).

As for the previous task, whore have read articles on that site and the main thought in them, whore could extract, is: "if everyone will be honest and willing to go further -- everything will be fine and everyone will be happy". So, the main thing -- is honest and desire for moving on. Miss agreed with whore in that and the task was marked as done :-)

After that Miss Eve gave this whore another task: to write an essay on the "Meaning of submission to this whore". To help whore in this not an easy task, Miss gave some questions whore can answer in her essay:

• What do you feel submission is,
• How does that affect you
• What do you want to reach in it
• Describe submission in you own words, just one sentence
• What does that sentence mean for you
• Are there parts of submission you do not have reached yet, but want to reach

So, hope very soon, there will be another post here with one more essay, with thought of this whore about herself, her feelings and actions.

Back from silence

Today whore is back to her diary after more then 2 months of silence (really sorry for that). There’s no excurse for this whore, but you know: summer, work and everything else is getting you away from all this.

But fortunately whore is back and what is more valuable – Miss Eve didn’t abandon from this stupid whore and will continue to train her according to her wishes, desires and needs (and this makes this whore happy… and horny *blushes*).

Today Miss gave this whore another task, here it is:

Hi there,

here is your first task,

I want you to visit this website,

look around, (there is a part Online submission)

and write down for me anything you noticed in special,

or maybe just thoughts you got, questions?

http://www.submissiveguide.com/

Since RL always goes first,

this is no task with a set time-span

Do it when you are/feel able to

Eve

Whore is going there…

And, BTW, maybe this diary will be changed soon… if Miss will give whore a permission for it.

Caged

A lot of days passed after bitch was beaten and healed. A lot of RL work had to be done, and not so many time bitch has spend online. But from time to time she managed to com online and met Miss Eve to talk or maybe even some action.

The most important things were that bitch accepted the fact, that Miss Alvie had all the rights to beat her to death or what ever else she wanted. And all bitch’s inside conflict is nothing that her unreadiness to accept the complete owner right for this bitch’s SL time, thoughts, deeds, body, soul and everything else bitch has got (but not owns now).

Another important step was that Miss Eve started to lock this bitch in cages with no timer and left for unknown time with no opportunity to escape.

During discussions and plays, Miss Eve started to underline the stupidity of bitch and bitch has caught herself on a thought that she’s become more stupid and sometimes acts not as a woman, but as a complete whore (oh, bitch’s face become red from that thoughts).

So, time is going, Miss’ Eve training is having it results. That’s so exciting and so scary at the same time. Bitch is a bit frightened to loose her humanity completely and have no chance to recover to a common girl after that training… But well, that what she wanted, when she started all that (and still want to continue going this way).

Last days Miss Eve was away (gone for weekend) and she left bitch in a cage (locked, no timer, not picklock, with taken keys – no chance to escape overall). Bitch has got a task, to write her thoughts about:

1. the meaning of the collar,
2. the meaning of being imprisoned,
3. what this bitch in SL now.

Well, those questions are not so easy as they can seem at the first sight. As for collar, bitch is not mentioning it at all, while it doesn’t need an upgrade (in that cases the popup is really start annoying). Bitch can’t even think her life without collar, without it restrictions (bitch has some feelings of discomfort long ago, when names were shown to her). But even knowing about all that restrictions, bitch don’t think about them as a collar stuff (bitch knows that they are), but bitch thinks of them as a Miss power over slave, permanent reminder of her submission and her place. That’s why collar is very useful to bitch, but has no meaning as a collar itself.

Bitch is now locked all the time, while unused by Miss or some of her friends. And bitch is happy about it. Bitch has now no problems to decide where to go and what to do. Bitch has no seduction to play, or to ask to play with others (when people see bitch in the cage, locked and no chance to be freed they quickly loose interest to her and walk by, making bitch understand her complete uselessness). But sitting in the cage has it’s bad sides too. As this bitch is now denied to orgasm (nearly all the time), she’s permanently horny and dripping nearly all the time (oh, and you can imaging  if juices are dripping outside, what is going on inside this bitch (in her pussy and in her soul). And sometime bitch feels sad being ignored and can’t even talk to some people 9as they are standing far, and bitch can only whisper and can’t IM to unknown persons). But that’s all make this bitch remember, what she’s now and where’s her place to be at. And bitch must thanks Miss Eve for that sincerely. Thank you Miss!

As for herself, bitch can’t say exactly how does she feels herself. Well, there is time, when bitch is normally accepts everything Miss is doing to her and understands her feelings and reasons for everyone attitude. And all that was desired by bitch for so long time… and now bitch has got it with all it’s “bad”s and “good”s. But from time to time, bitch is falling into some strange state of seeing what she has done to herself, understanding how deep has she fell. Understanding that there is not so much of human is left in her... and she’s not that slave, who once entered  SL RLV world… and absolutely not that girl, who logged into SL once.

There is another fact about this bitch, that Miss might know, but bitch thinks that it must be written down. Bitch started to notice, that sometimes she wants to do things she’d never wanted and never would do before training starts. One of the examples is that she asked Miss to whip bitch, instead of Miss Alive… During bitch’s imprisonment bitch wanted to beg people going by to fuck her and give her some sexual treatment. Somehow bitch stopped herself, but that was some really strange desires. And their appearance in bitch head, make her feel even more horny, then she was before. Bitch is not sure what it is and is it good or bad, and would like offer Miss Eve to decide if she needs to develop those thoughts in her property (for some goal or just for Miss’s fun).

One more interesting thing, bitch has noticed during the last days. One day, bitch was watching a movie, and there was a scene (not the main one and rather short) where some girls, handcuffed in a dirty room were shown, they were used there sexually by different guys. And bitch placed herself there immediately. That was so hot and so thrilling, that bitch soon started to worry, if she’ll get too horny from all that. Everything was fine, but bitch thought about some kind of sexual renting and such kind of things… if Miss wants it.

One more things, bitch was thinking about and didn’t mention in this diary. Bitch thought about body transformation play some days ago. And told about it to Miss Eve. Bitch can give a copy of her shape to Miss Eve and Miss can transform it how she thinks this bitch will look better, and give it back and force bitch to wear… This will be another small step for complete submission and may be will please Miss, making her feel one more side of ownership.

Healing and reward

After the last whipping bitch can’t feel any arousal for a day and could hardly move. Miss Alvie tried her best to nurse, and did not play much. At the end of the day, when the numbness started to get away, bitch was given a series of orgasms. They were wonderful and so desirable. That marked the end of bitch’s body healing process, but her mental health was still broken. Bitch could hardly make herself get back to SL, and was really afraid of Miss Alvie for a week.

And nearly after a week bitch could manage to get to SL for some rather long time, and met Miss Eve. That made bitch very happy, as she understood how easy it was with Miss Eve, and how deep Miss Eve feels bitch.

A pet beating.

As Miss Alvie has got this bitch for a whole 2 weeks, she started to keep this bitch in the cage and get her out only for a play. As the cage is placed in Miss Alvie and Miss Eve’s house, bitch is not walking much. The main device this bitch is used on is a bamboo frame, where bitch is hanged and teased, denied, shocked by chastity, made to beg for orgasm and then shocked and denied again. That exhausts, but brings some feeling of submission and dependence. And that was wonderful.

Once Miss Alvie told bitch to name herself in different unpleasant  and humiliating ways. For some reason that was new to this bitch and brought some new feelings… And that was realy interesting.

But later on (maybe some days later) Miss Alvie has brought a guy with her. And she wanted to try this bitch to get and orgasm from whipping (as bitch wrote about episode, when she has got to the edge, while Miss Eve was whipping her at the post). This time Miss Alvie wanted bitch to come and even got her chastity off. After some strokes bitch understood that she does not feel any arousal from that, but only pain…dull pain, getting more and more, again and again… Bitch tried to tell Miss Alvie, that arousal is not getting up, but Miss Alvie’s boy was going on… bitch counted… cried, please, begged and counted on… that was really long and painful… bitch stop feel any arousal at nearly 40 and the last number she remembers was 53… after that there was dark and pain free period of unconsciousness. Bitch came to senses laying on the floor with completely read ass and numb pussy, unable to make a stand up or even move… Miss Alvie and her friend were sitting near by, trying to wake her up.

Miss Alvie was very anxious about bitch and send her friend away as quick as possible. Bitch could hardly walk, unable to feel any type of arousal and hardly speak. Bitch was placed into the cage and left for healing her wounds.

This was an outstanding event in this bitch’s life.

First, bitch was beaten really hard for nothing and who knows, maybe could be killed, just to have fun of an unknown person.

Second, bitch for the first time in her sub life wanted to run away from Miss (and couldn’t).

Third, bitch understood that some people can’t hear others, even when there is no other connection between them, except chat… and that’s a sad fact about SL (bitch knew this fact about RL, and seems to hope that SL differs).

SL submission meaning in RL

Miss Alive told this bitch to write down her thoughts about meaning of SL submission of this bitch in her RL. And bitch started to think about it.

At first there are some facts, that bitch must say:

1. Bitch has been interested in BDSM in RL for nearly 10 years, trying different things with the help of some people (sexual partners) and herself.
2. Bitch can’t say she’s a complete sub in RL and switches from time to time.
3. Bitch had come to SL to explore and develop her submissive side.

So all this facts make her attitude to SL submission serious and as less a playful, as it can be. Bitch feels a great turn on from domination, from restrains and especially from humiliation in SL (well, domination and retrains make bitch hot in RL too, and real, strong humiliations was not tried in RL, yet). As a matter of fact,  restrains, sexual acts, even pain are completely illusive in SL. And only relations and emotions can be felt for real (but well, can be still played and not be real at all). And that’s why these are the main interest of this bitch in SL, as they can be felt in RL too. That’s why bitch is trying to explore emotional side of submission as she can (and she can do it in SL rather well). And this bitch will be glad to try any other mindfucking games in SL too.

As for RL, submissive feelings are growing here too. And as this bitch has a family in RL and her partner is partly in dominating her, the developing of submissive side is a very good thing too.

There was one good example, when bitch was begging owners for an orgasm and was denied and beaten for her bad behavior. Later that day in RL was a sexual play, during which bitch was brought to an edge and denied several times… All together make bitch nearly cry and beg for orgasm in RL… hopefully RL was much softer and bitch came that night.

Bitch would like to get some BDSM play out of SL and put it into RL, but thinks that mixing those L’s together is not a good thing at all.

Bitch lending

Miss Eve made variants for this bitch more precise:

1. Miss Alvie will decide if bitch has an orgasm or not (so, bitch will ask her every time, she wants to cum).
2. Miss Alvie will have this bitch for two weeks to the fullest use.

Bitch thought one more time and did not change her decision, as she’s afraid of giving right to decide about her orgasms to Alvie (and this bitch don’t know Alvie too much).

So, from this day to 2 weeks this bitch belongs to Miss Alvie (and she demands now to be called Miss too). And the play, Alvie started was a human-animal. Miss Alvie started rough from the first seconds. Miss Alvie put this bitch to a pet cage, where bitch can’t do anything, and only Miss (and maybe other people outside of the cage) can make bitch drink, sleep, and many other things and bitch has no chance to reject it.

And Miss Alvie started to use her power. At first she asked if bitch wants to drink and gave her some water in the bowl… and then she took of her pants and climbed up on the cage… bitch knew what was going to happen… yes, Miss Alvie peed on bitch, making all of her smell like dirty toilet sit. And then she made this bitch to drink the rest of her urine from her bowl. A bit later bitch was licking Miss Alvie’s ass, trying to please her. That all was so weird. Along with that Miss Alvie named this bitch a pet and asked her who is this bitch… this bitch answered that she’s a bitch and Miss Alvie’s pet, but Miss wanted more answers… and was very angry with that  bitch, that even stepped on her hand and stay on it, until bitch said that she’s a whore (adding to all previous names).

This bitch was so surprised with that fact, and even told Miss that that was unfair, but Miss Alvie remarked that life is unfair and went on in her actions. Now, writing all this, bitch understands how wrong she behaved, as she did not get, that Miss Alvie wanted bitch to humiliate herself, naming her different unpleasant names.

At the end Miss Alvie told bitch to think about what SL submission means to this bitch in her RL. And that’s another part of today post.

Punishment, Alvie and more steps to the unknown

This bitch was waiting for punishment for her slow reaction this evening. Some das ago, bitch asked one Miss to lock her (as she logged off and Miss Eve couldn’t lock bitch herself). Miss willingly agreed and this bitch wanted to give her a leash to herself, but failed to do it through collar menu and Miss waited a bit, getting angry with this bitch. Miss locked bitch on a cross, high about entrance of the SIM for everyone to see her naked and dripping with sweat and lust. But she had send IM to Miss Eve about this bitch slowness and Miss Eve decided to punish this bitch for it. Some days bitch was not very long in SL and was thinking about punishment with fear. But weekend came and bitch had enough time to get all punishments Miss had planed for her. In fact, punishment was a whipping… hard and long, but still only that. But there was one strange thing in all that. During that whipping, this bitch felt aroused… very aroused, hot, horny as hell! And as Miss gave her a stroke after a stroke, bitch was dripping, mooing from pain and lust. That was completely strange for this bitch, and she understood that her body is acting by itself, not mentioning her will and mind. That was something really new and strange.

With the last whip stroked this bitch came so close to orgasm, that chastity belt shocked her to prevent her from cuming. That was only the first strange feeling that day.

After punishment was done, and bitch thanked Miss for that, Miss Eve told, that Alvie will play with this bitch today (!!!). Miss was searching for someone to give this bitch to for some time, but Alvie was not even in a list of candidacies, when she was a slave. This bitch nodded (what else she can do?!) and Miss Eve added Alvie to the second owners list of this bitch.

Very soon Alvie came, leashed bitch and dragged her to the bamboo shibari stand, where this bitch was placed  spread, opened for a view of any people going by (and that frame was near the often used path). Alvie was not so shy any more, and very quickly showed this bitch her place. The pose of this bitch was so opened, and Alvie liked the work of chastity shock so much, that she licked this bitch for several edges and at the end bitch was so hot, that can hardly think about anything except orgasms. She begged to have one and made a very (as she learned later) mistake. Bitch asked Miss Eve (she was watching all the action, sitting nearby) to permit bitch’s cumming. And Alvie became furious. She told that she was playing with this bitch and she must decide that… Miss Eve laughed, as she knew, Alvie was going to permit this bitch to orgasm, but now bitch spoiled everything. Alvie changed in a second. Now she was not a girl, amusing herself with a new toy, but she was a demanding Mistress, in anger, going to give a sever punishment for disobedience. That was scary!

Alvie places bitch on her knees and started to discuss punishment with Miss Eve… and at this moment bitch felt something completely new in her mind. She was scared, she was humiliated, she was lost, her thoughts seemed to vanish from her head, and clear feeling where left, feelings, that could not be said, as there were no words in bitch’s head at that moment. So, bitch stood on her knees, chained, struggling to escape, stay and take her punishment, please Miss, beg for mercy and drink another gulp of coca-cola (oh, that was from RL already, but bitch’s mind was lost not in SL, but in RL!!!).

Emotions were overfilling this bitch and she posted some strange messages to local chat, like a madman, mumbling something incomprehensible. After some minutes this insanity ended, and bitch got back to reality, where Miss Eve was staring at her and trying to get what is going on.

Alvie helped this bitch to come to reality quicker, starting to punish her with a whip. Bitch’s body was tender from past edges and skin was already hurt by Miss Eve (during last punishment)  and every stroke was a hard for this bitch. And during that Miss Eve told, that she was not satisfied with Alvie, and wanted to whip her too! And every stroke, that Alvie will not give to this bitch, Miss Eve will give to Alvie…It was not a strange thing at all, this bitch knew such ways to influence people… but suddenly, in spite of her own pain and tears (oh, that day bitch cried a lot – from pain, from edges and inability to cum, from humiliation and fear… completely emotional imbalance!) bitch offered to take all Alvies’ strokes, to save Alvie from punishment… this bitch didn’t even understand what she had done, but it was late to change anything… And that was another strange act for this bitch that day.

However punishment was done. Bitch had no strength to stay and fell on the ground as soon, as she was unchained. Bitch’s face was all in tears and sweat, her ass and back were red and ached awfully, but she thanked Alvie for treatment like a good property. Avie left bitch with Miss Eve. Bitch was exhausted, but still wanted to cum badly. Miss Eve told bitch to get back to writing her diary (as butch had not write a line for nearly two weeks) and dragged her to the jail. When bitch was locked in a cell, Miss told bitch about her idea, to give Alvie right to decide, if this bitch can cum or not. And this decision will be made once, and stayed for all Miss Eve’s ownership period. This bitch was frightened, but can say nothing against, as bitch has no right to decide. But bitch hoped to that Miss will left a chance to her to cum. Bitch imagined the situation of permanent orgasm ban, and realized how awful it will be. Then she remembered that complete orgasm denial is a part of her own degradation plan, and how easy it was then to write it down, and how hard it’s now to accept even opportunity of this denial. Thoughts messed in this bitch’s head one more time. Bitch felt fear, humiliation and lust (oh, why??? Why does thoughts about orgasm denial make this bitch hot and wet?!). And that was nothing bitch can do with all that.

Some time later Miss Eve came back to this bitch cell and told her, that she can give this bitch a choice: make Alvie decide the orgasm future of this bitch, or serve Alvie for 2 weeks (as Alvie was so mad with anger at this bitch, that one day can’t contain all punishments Alvie wants to perform on this bitch). This bitch had to think about it and give an answer next day…

Bitch thought a lot… and understood, that however, Miss Eve and Alvie has all opportunity to deprive this bitch any chance to get orgasm, they can punish her and humiliate her any way they want and bitch can’t say a word against it (and even more, bitch will do nearly anything for a chance of release). And that’s why whatever this bitch will choose, Miss Eve and Alvie can do what they want and make this bitch choice insignificant.

Submissive feelings

During a period this bitch is describing now (26/05/2010-03/06/2010) there were not so much SL events (except talks to Alvie and Miss Eve about their relations). But there was one thought in this bitch’s mind, and it should be placed in this diary, without doubts.

During one talk to Miss Eve this bitch was asked about something, that Miss Eve can decide for this bitch and even don’t ask this bitch opinion, as there’s no matter what a chair (or some other property) thinks about your decision concerning them. And bitch wanted to tell Miss about it, but stopped as she understood that she still has some things, not wanting Miss Eve to decide about her. And those things were about money (currently on her SL account) and her inventory (as bitch is developing some devices, as you know). And that made this bitch a bit confused, and gave a start to a long dialog inside her about fullness of her submission. Finally, this bitch decided, that she has to be completely submitted to her owner, without conditions and exceptions.

So now this bitch is sure, that she must be completely submitted to her owner in all parts concerning SL (this bitch doesn’t mix SL and RL).

That was a step to something new in understanding and feeling of submission for this bitch. And a lot more step will follow!

PS. Miss Eve once, gave this bitch a choice, what to be trained into – a whore/thing or an animal. And this bitch couldn’t chose, as she wanted to try animal play very much, but feels herself no enough degradated. And asked Miss to give a chance to both directions, one by one… Miss Eve grins evilly, and had not answered. Now bitch has no idea what sort of training is going on, but hopes to learn about it soon.